Autumn of Anticipation
by DigimonDragonLady
Summary: This is Kensuke people, and this is one authoress who's very happy to be able to post her work again. ^_^ This ones based on an old legend I've heard before. Enjoy. And please R/R


Dragon Lady: Goodness this is a strange story. *blinks* Inspiration just struck suddenly in the middle of English class. When I should have been working on grammar too *grins sheepishly*

Ken: Shame on you dl.

Dragon Lady: I know…I know…I understood it. ^^;

Ken: Well…whatever. Not that anybody cares what kind of grades you make in English, just as long as they get to read the story that you used your class time to write.

Dragon Lady: Honestly. I understand it. ^^;; Its all Ken's fault anyway. I have a workaholic for a muse. ^_~

Ken: Riiiight…Anyway, DigimonDragonLady doesn't own digimon. She just borrows the characters to use for totally non profit fan fiction.

Dragon Lady: I also don't own the book Summer of the Monkeys by Wilson Rawls…hm…did I get his name right? *thinks* I don't really feel like tracking down my copy of the book to see…^^;;; If its not that its pretty close anyway. I know the title's right. I used a small scene of the book, and an old legend to create this fan fic. Enjoy. ^_^

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**Autumn of Anticipation**

By: DigimonDragonLady

"Daisuke, I'll ask you again, don't go! Please don't leave me like this! Please."

"Ken," Daisuke's voice took on a stern, admonishing tone, as he gently, but firmly, pried the raven haired boys fingers from his death grip on his arm. "We've already been over this," he reminded him.

"Daisuke, I love you. I couldn't live without you. Don't go," Ken begged him pitifully.

"Oh, Ken…" Daisuke sighed sadly. He took a seat on the couch, and motioning Ken to join him, pulled the boy down onto his lap. Ken's arms snaked around Daisuke, and he laced his fingers together against the back of his neck, as he leaned his head against his chest and closed his eyes peacefully.

Daisuke simply held him that way for a long time, tucking Ken's head under his chin, and just holding him. It felt good. "Ken, why can't you understand, I have to do this."

"No you don't Daisuke. Just stay. Stay here with me…" Ken whimpered.

"I can't do that Ken. You know --"

"No I don't know!" Ken jerked his head up angrily and stared deep into Daisuke's eyes. "I know your family is not wealthy, and I know they can't afford to pay the necessary price, even though they need you at home with them. But father has offered to pay for you!" His big, beautiful, blue-violet eyes filled with tears. "I don't know, Daisuke. I don't understand."

"My Ken," Daisuke murmured. "Oh my beautiful Ken," he brushed his hands across Ken's pale cheeks. "I love you Ken," he kissed him. "I love you so much that sometimes it hurts just to be away from you. To not be by your side. But I do have to do this. I truly appreciate your father's offer, but I'm going to go, because of you, and because of my family. You're my reason for leaving Ken. I'm doing this to protect you."

"Daisuke, this is war! You could die," Ken went back to clutching him tightly. "I don't want that."

"Ken. I will protect you, always, no matter what it takes. I will go to war willingly, and I will serve my nation well, but my reason for fighting will lie in my loved ones. Do not fear. I will come back to you, my love, I promise," Daisuke told him, whispering sweetly in his ear.

"You have to come back Daisuke, I don't know what I'd do without you. You have to come back. To me."

* * *

When Daisuke Motomiya left for the war, the two people who were the closest to him in the world, fell into a state of deep depression. Jun and Ken began to depend upon each other, and tried their best to bring one another whatever small comfort they could provide through their own sorrows and longing, trying, trying to ease the pain of Daisuke's departure.

"We just have to believe in him, Ken," Jun told him often, as if she needed to hear the words spoken herself. "We have to believe in Daisuke's courage and strength. We have to believe that he loves us too much to give up and leave us forever, and that he'll do everything within his power to return to us as soon as possible."

Ken found out how much he depended upon his lover, and how slowly the days passed without him. He spent his days seated in front of the large picture window, overlooking the orchards and a grassy, hilly field. It was the place where Daisuke had last disappeared from his view. He often found himself thinking back to how it was when Daisuke left. They hadn't spoken at all, hadn't said any goodbyes, but Daisuke had kissed him. Not a long kiss, nor was it desperate, or extremely passionate, they had shared many a kiss such as those in the past, and while they always meant something special at the moment, now was not the time. This kiss was short, slow, and incredibly sweet. It had been as if the kiss itself was a promise, that the exchange of no farewells meant that Daisuke would be back so soon that it would be like he had never been gone.

So Ken sat at the picture window, overlooking the field, and remembering their kiss. He ate little, and rarely left his vigil for any meal. He just sat, and watched, and waited for Daisuke to come walking back over the crest of the grassy hill one cool and foggy morning, like he had seen in his dreams.

The brightest points he had now were when a letter arrived from Daisuke. He would sit and read each one so many times over that he had them thoroughly memorized. He committed every word penned by his love fondly to heart. The letters became worn and faded, dog eared along the creases, because of being folded and unfolded and read so many times.

In his return letters, Ken always asked when Daisuke would be coming home to him, even though he knew it would be a long time yet. Daisuke always wrote back that he didn't know. Ken continued his watch for him.

Then, the letters stopped coming. Ken wrote more of his own, thinking that maybe Daisuke hadn't received the last letters, it was possible. Still, nothing. All his friends and family started to worry, and feared the worst. Ken and Jun tried to keep the hope alive. After all, there had been no official letter telling them of Daisuke's death. Maybe it was safe to assume that he was still very much alive, but couldn't find the time to write to them, even if he was worried about their concerns over him. War was harsh, and if there was no time, Daisuke couldn't do anything about it. After all, he didn't leave his home just to correspond with them from afar. He had a job to do.

But as the seasons changed and there was still no word, even Jun began to slowly loose what little optimism she had left, she was Daisuke's sister, and she loved him dearly, but that didn't keep him safe and alive. Just love was no protection in the cold, cruel world. Ken, though, continued to sit at his window, and still dreamt about Daisuke coming over the hill to him. He couldn't, wouldn't believe that his love was gone, he had promised him. He had promised.

* * *

The end of the war came, and the men who had fought in it began to return to their loving, joyful families. All around them, neighbors were welcoming back fathers and sons, husbands and brothers. But one cheerful, bright soldier was conspicuous in his absence. Daisuke.

The family of the young man mourned their loss deeply. They had held their own private funeral for their lost soldier, and had a tombstone, with his name engraved upon it, erected in the orchard, where it was visible from Ken's window. There they let go of their feeble hopes, and thoughts of Daisuke's return. Ken was the only one that didn't. He would never give up, not until the day that he once again met Daisuke upon the mortal plane, or joined his love in death. He was the only one with no tears to shed.

And he continued to sit and stare out of his window. He no longer moved from the chair that had been placed there since the day Daisuke left. He rarely slept, and when he did he dreamed only of Daisuke, and almost stopped speaking all together. He grew thinner and thinner with each passing day, and his eyes lost the bright, lustrous shine they had always possessed whenever Daisuke was close by.

His family tried to tempt him away from his vigil, but at that window he remained. What if Daisuke came over the hill after he left his seat? "Come Ken," they said. "You have to let Daisuke rest, you have to let go and move on with your life. He's gone Ken, as much as it hurts to admit. He's gone."

But Ken didn't allow himself to be swayed, even by the ever gentle and beautiful Hikari. He answered everything with, "Daisuke's coming home soon."

Years passed, but still all he would say when pressed about the subject was, "Daisuke's coming home." Never anything more. His family loved him, but they considered placing him in some sort of institution. It was like the old Ken was no longer with them. Like he'd been replaced with an empty shell of a person, a shadow of his former self. Daisuke might have been dead in body, but Ken, Ken was dead in spirit.

But they didn't have the heart to send him away from his home, away from his house, and the window at which he had spent every waking moment of his life for the last four years. While it didn't often show, Ken still possessed every bit of the intelligence he had had before Daisuke had left. Sometimes one could look deep into his eyes and when he said that Daisuke was coming back there would be a glimmer of something…that inner intelligence. Something that said, "trust me, I know". 

* * *

Hikari Kamiya had had enough of watching Ken stare out of a window. All the young man did was watch life move around him through that glass. She didn't even know if he was aware of when there were other people in the room with him, unless, maybe he caught their reflection in the glass. She approached him and put a hand on his shoulders. Most of the time he didn't even acknowledge somebody's presence when they were so close that they were actually touching him. Not even when they called his name sometimes.

But she was going to try. She had to try. Watching such a once brilliant young man waste away into nothing before her very eyes was tearing her apart. Both Ken and Daisuke had been her friends, and she was damned if she was going to desert Ken and let him leave them like Daisuke had.

"Ken," she called softly, certain that she would get no response. "Ken?"

To her complete surprise Ken turned and looked at her. And she knew, knew that she had his complete attention, that every part of him was focused completely on her, and he was aware. His violet eyes stared into her own honey brown ones.

"Hikari?" he asked. "Hikari…I need…I need to go outside," he told her.

She blinked. When was the last time he had seen the outside? Felt the sweeping wind of the cool October against his skin, or felt the sun upon him? "Outside?" she questioned. Ken was with her. Completely with her. And he was asking her this question in complete rationality. She hadn't wanted to believe that Ken had gone insane with the loss of Daisuke, but sometimes it seemed to her…that there was no other way of describing his state. To have loved someone so deeply…as Ken had loved Daisuke…

But now…there was no doubt in her mind that he was completely sane. Though he had never cried at Daisuke's "funeral", she had occasionally seen his eyes grow bright and suspiciously liquid, and had once watched a single tear thread its way down his pale cheek. Ken was as sane as herself. 

"Yes," he responded. 

"Do you want to…" she paused. "Would you like to visit Daisuke's grave?"

He thought about it a minute, and then nodded. "Yes. I would like that. Soon I think…there won't be any need for it, but I wouldn't mind looking at it again."

"All right," she smiled encouragingly. "Then that's where we'll go. Do you need help?"

She offered a hand, which he gratefully excepted. He stood, shakily, as was to be expected. He almost protested when she pulled a heavy coat around him, and equipped him with a hat, but she pointed out that it was near the end of October, and he would need it outside, no matter how warm he felt at the present moment.

Once outside they wandered slowly to Daisuke's grave site. The two just stood there for a long time, in silence, and then Ken sighed. "I dream about him. Always," he announced.

"Do you?" she asked. "I do to. Sometimes. And about you," she admitted.

"My dream is almost always the same."

"Would you…tell me about it?" she asked.

He stared reflectively around at the orchard and the fields of grass. "Its somewhat dark. Not like night, but the way that it is early morning, when the sun is first beginning to rise above the horizon. I'm starring out the window, because I cannot sleep. Its kind of blurry. Its because there's fog. All around. It covers the ground, and creeps into the orchard and the fields. It makes the window fuzzy with water droplets. I know its cold out, because the window pane feels cool to the touch, and its fall, because the leaves of the orchard are turning red and orange like they are now."

Hikari remained silent, listening to Ken's dream. So far it sounded like he was dreaming of all that he saw when he was awake. He continued, "Then, I don't know if maybe my eyes are playing tricks on me, but I begin to see a figure through the fog. And it becomes clearer, and clearer, until I can see that its Daisuke. He's in uniform, and he's carrying a bag over his shoulder, and his rifle in his hand. And I jump up, and I run outside to him. And he just drops everything that he's carrying, and I'm in his arms again, and we're…we're happy, and together once more."

Ken gave a small smile. "It…sounds beautiful…" Hikari said slowly. She would have continued, but Ken stopped her by holding up his hand.

"Don't say it Hikari," he told her. "Don't say what you are about to say."

"What am I about to say Ken?"

"That it will never happen, because Daisuke's gone. Because he's left us. Because he's left me. He hasn't. He promised me. Promised me that he'd be back, and he will be. You'll see. He will be back."

Hikari didn't know quite how to respond to that, so she didn't. "I think maybe…we should go inside don't you?" she asked finally.

"No," Ken said simply. "There is something I must do now. You go back inside Hikari. I'll be in soon."

Hikari hesitated. She didn't want to leave Ken alone. What if he did something drastic? Don't you think he would have done that years ago, if he really wanted to? A small part of her mind nagged at her. Still, she could not help but worry.

Ken could see her hesitation, and her reluctance. "Don't worry about me Hikari," he told her firmly. "I'll be fine. But…there is something that I must do. And I must do it alone."

She nodded finally. "Don't do anything that you're going to regret Ken," she begged him.

"No," he agreed seriously.

So she left him. She didn't know what he would do while alone, but she knew that somehow, he was right. Though…about what she couldn't be sure.

* * *

Ken walked through the orchard and its orderly row of peach trees. Peach trees. How many times had Daisuke and himself walked these same paths? A million. More. It's a shame, he thought. That it isn't summer. So that I could smell the faint, delicate scent of peach upon the air.

But the orchard wasn't where he needed to be. He walked further away from it and into the dense woods, following what seemed to be a trail, but had never been properly made into a trail. Following this rough path through the dense trees he came upon a small, grassy clearing. Through the clearing trickled a small brook that ran into other parts of the estate. It was a beautiful scene that greeted him. That clearing seemed as if it were frozen in time. The sun's rays played down through the canopy of the trees, and created a beautiful, almost celestial effect by casting a sort of golden haze upon everything. 

Ken's eyes traveled over the clearing, and when they came to rest on a formation of mushrooms, he had found what he was in search of. He smiled slightly, and moved carefully forward to examine them. They ranged in size, shape and height, but they created a perfect circle, just big enough for a person to fit inside. It was a fairy ring.

A fairy ring, used by the mystical creatures to dance and frolic during the midnight hours. It was said that if one got within the circle and made a wish, that it would come true. There was a legend associated with it, Ken had known it at some point. Something about a young bride and her husband, but he couldn't remember it at the moment.

He moved forward some more, and cautiously stepped over the mushrooms, so that he could sit in the middle of the circle. His legs were folded up beneath him, and he sat slightly, on the back of his heels. His hands were clasped tightly in his lap, and his eyes were closed as he made his wish.

He wished for Daisuke.

* * *

It was early morning, the hours of dawn. Ken wasn't sleeping. He and Hikari had spent the evening hours talking. Just talking about anything and everything, until Takeru had come to take his wife home, and the couple had bid Ken a good evening. Ken had smiled at him, and Takeru had seemed surprised about his condition, though he hadn't made any comment other than the fact that it was good to see Ken up and about for the first time in a while.

But Ken didn't mind being alone then. It was nice, to be with your thoughts, and he waited, for something to come. At first he wasn't certain just what it was that he waited for, but then he gradually became more clear upon the matter. At the beginnings of dawn he watched the fog roll in in thick clouds, making the world outside the window gray, and blurry. 

Ken put his hand out to touch the window, as if hardly daring to believe it was real. He smiled when it felt cool under his skin, and drew his hand back, and down into his lap. He blinked when as the world outside began to grow slowly lighter, and lighter a fuzzy figure began to appear through the thick mass of fog. 

He sprang lightly up from his chair and watched as the figure came closer and closer through the fog. It was a young man with mahogany brown, unruly hair, wearing an army uniform. With a pack slung over one shoulder and a rifle in the other. His heart leapt up in his chest and he raced out of the door to the orchard in an instant.

He shivered for a moment when the cold morning air hit his body, as he had not thought to bring any extra coverings for warmth. But that didn't really matter to him at the moment. He took off through the dew wet grass, and stopped, still a good distance from the figure of the man. The other stopped as well, and for a second, time stood still as each surveyed the other, before Ken murmured, "Daisuke," lightly under his breath, and then gave a cry of joy. "Daisuke!"

He rushed forward as the man dropped all that he was carrying to take Ken up in his arms. "Daisuke," he sobbed, crying freely for the first time in four long years of waiting and watching. "Daisuke."

"Don't cry Ken," Daisuke comforted him, kissing him softly on the head. "I promised that I'd be home. It just took a little longer than either of us anticipated."

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Dragon Lady: Yay! All finished. *smiles happily* Well…what did you think? Personally, I thought it turned out rather well…I'm pretty pleased with it. ^_^

Ken: Okay…you didn't give anything away, you can explain now.

Dragon Lady: Right. If none of you have ever read Summer of the Monkeys they mention in the book a legend about the fairy ring, which is actually what they call a circle of mushrooms, if you didn't already know that. The legend describes a young brides husband going off to war, and it is exactly the story that I played out with Ken and Daisuke. ^_^ So. There we go.

Ken: You could let us know what you thought…

Dragon Lady: It would be greatly appreciated. ^_^


End file.
